A year ago I did not think that my life would be how it is now. So many plans have changed. So much has happened. This time last year I had just started dating someone and I thought things would have progressed and they didn't. I thought I would be going back to school and I would've had three more terms completed and that didn't happen either. I didn't plan on working a minimum wage job, but of course that is the case now.
I've had many ups and many more downs in the past year and it threw all of my goals off. My career path has changed more than once, but I think I have finally made up my mind. I attempted to go back to school more than once and I will finally start next term., Even though I was discouraged the entire time, It was for the better because I had a lot to think about and I like the conclusion I came to in the end.
I toyed with the idea of going into marketing and promotions. At one point I decided that I absolutely didn't want to become a teacher. I thought about not finishing school at all. Someone even convinced me to try out photography and I changed my mind about that as well. So now my final decision is this; I want to go into journalism, continue to take education classes, try to write for some sort of publication, and fall back on teaching if that doesn't work out.
My financial situation is better than it has been, but it still isn't what I wanted. I wanted a full time job earning more than $9/hr, but here I am getting minimum wage, working less than 20 hours a week. I took the job because I honestly do not want to be doing something I don't enjoy. I have tons of experience in office and clerical work, but I wouldn't want to sit at a desk all day long. So I'm going to continue working with kids even though it doesn't yield a decent pay check. It's actually a better decision for me because I can work in the afternoons and take classes in the mornings. Plus my financial aid can add to my income.
As far as my love life is concerned, well that's still pretty whack. I've only met a few decent guys over the past year and there's always some reason it doesn't work out. One guy was sexy, caring, and intellectual, but he still lived with his daughter's mother. Another guy was sweet, charming, and funny but he lived in another state. There was the smart and spiritual one that was too short and the older ambitious one that wasn't looking for a serious thing. And now I have this one guy. He knows how to make me laugh, knows how to hold me just right, his kisses put me on cloud nine. He's smart, well-traveled, spiritual, cares for his family. He's tall and sexy. Has just about everything a woman could ask for in a man. But his life is complicated and apparently I don't fit in there well. Quel dommage, c'est la vie.
So now what? I guess I'm just rolling with the punches. I"m taking all that I'm given and making the best out of it. We can't really plan our lives and expect to get all that we want. Instead we must pray, make the best decisions for ourselves, and trust that God will give us everything we need. When things don't end up the way we want them, just be thankful for what we have and make the best of it.
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