Friday, February 3, 2012

How > Where: Some dating tips

“I could never date a guy I met at the club!” - The bougie girl war cry.
How often have we heard women utter this statement? How many of them also complain of being miserably single? Meeting your future husband at the club is a nightmare to these women, but what if they don’t meet their future husband anywhere?
Let me just clear the air right here and say I do not think meeting a man in the club is either good or bad. I mean, if you go to the club and meet a guy, great. If you don’t, ok. The whole thing is, it’s not about where you meet a guy, it’s how you meet him and what you plan on doing with him afterwards. You can meet Saint Francis at the cathedral, but if you’re throwing your p*ssy at him, he’s probably going to dog you.
A lot of these single women (myself included) are single not because of where they meet guys, but because of their process. Realistically if you’re looking for a life mate, meeting him at a place you enjoy going to is ideal. Whether it’s the club or church, obviously if you’re both there, you have something in common. That’s always a good start. So let’s squash that whole argument now and say meet a guy, anywhere you happen to be. The end.
Onto my next point. Say you meet a guy at [insert desired venue here]. If you immediately hop in bed with him, it’s over before it starts. He’s not going to respect you because you’re not respecting yourself. He may or may not even call you (depending on how good the sex is and how pressed he is for good sex.) And of course if he never calls or only calls for sex, you’re going to go on and on about how he’s a dog. How is that fair to him?
Said guy only did what you allowed him to do. He reacted to your actions and now you’re mad because of a decision that YOU made yourself. Because you wanted to screw him, he screwed you. Both literally and figuratively and you’re still single. That’s no one’s fault but your own.
Now let’s try a different approach.  Say you meet a guy at [insert desired venue here]. You exchange numbers, chat for a bit, go on a date or two, get to know each other and whatever else happens from there. Unless you really are a crazy psycho bitch, I doubt he’s going to “dog” you. Why? Because you gave him no chance to. We’re all happy.
Now, this is not to say that things will work out perfectly in the latter example. Lord knows what other factors can come into play and ruin whatever you have going on. However, I’m sure you’ll deal with less “dogs” if you’re not hopping into bed with every guy you meet. And sometimes, even when you try to handle things in a more respectable way, guys will still dog you. There are a few men that are just ass holes, but that’s why we pay attention to the red flags ladies.
Well, that’s all for today. Keep this in mind when you hit up the club tonight and tomorrow night and also when you go to church on Sunday. J